Two main points stuck out to me in your response for where we can begin with the Crusades that I found to be true and helpful: 1.) Education 2.) Grace and Respect
The Crusades are often looked over in Western education, at least in my experience. They were hardly mentioned or only given a cursory review. As Christians, we should encourage discussion and education, especially about grievous errors and sins that the Church committed in the past, so we can be better prepared to discuss with Muslims and do better as the Church. While we need to remember the past, none of us should be condemned for it. We need grace so we can forgive and seek out mutual respect. We need to acknowledge the past, but do so in a spirit of love and understanding so we can move forward.